Sunday, October 11, 2015

Two Lawyers in a Bar Talking About Primates

Based on a true story.

Friend: I really want to visit Japan.
Me: OMG, me too! My grandparents lived there for a long time in the '70's and '80's.
Friend: Yeah, I wanted to go into the hot springs with those monkeys but then someone told me that you're not actually IN the hot springs with the monkeys.
Me: Um, yeah, I mean I'm pretty sure there's shit everywhere in there. You probably wouldn't want to be in there WITH the monkeys. Also there's like this whole hierarchy where only the cool monkeys can go in. There's like this one male with a harem and bodyguards. I saw it on a documentary. Also I have a friend who is actually a primatologist. That's someone who studies monkeys. She says chimps are assholes.
Friend: Really? They seem so cute!
Me: No, apparently they're assholes. Gorillas are nice, though.
Friend: But the chimps in that one movie were so cute though! You know? The one with Jane Goodall? I loved that movie.
Me: Dude, that was about gorillas. And it was Dian Fossey, as played by Sigourney Weaver. Remember it was called GORILLAS in the mist? And she gets murdered by poachers at the end?
Friend: Oh yeah. I still totally want to go to Japan though.
Me: Totally. Me too.

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