Monday, October 26, 2015

The Kiddie Confederate Soldier Costume from Amazon is Your EVERYTHING This Halloween

Parents: Are you rushing to figure out what your child should be for Halloween next week? Well look no further! 

An attentive reader was searching for a sword for her son's pirate or ninja costume or some shit, and she happened upon the most original and patriotic Halloween costume of all time: The "Confederate Officer Child's Costume" from Forum Novelties! There are only 6 of these left in stock on Amazon, so you'd better hurry up and order yours today.

Now you might think that unless you're a semi-professional Civil War re-enactor or doing a school play where the Union traitors go down at Gettysburg, this costume might be considered the teensiest bit politically incorrect. 

Well fuck that noise. 

If you're a real 'Murican, you will go ALL in on this and make it a family costume: One of you can dress up as this kiddie confederate soldier; another can dress in black-face as human chattel; someone else can be Robert E. Lee; and if you have a big enough family, someone can be a KKK grand wizard or imperial dragon or whatever the fuck they call themselves. (Tip: It's pretty easy to re-purpose a ghost costume into a KKK uniform. There's tons of stuff on Pinterest about it). There is also a ton of confederate flag swag floating around ever since that whole "remove-the-Confederate-flag-from-public-spaces" kerfuffle.

Just check out some of these reviews on Amazon, and also on the cap, sold separately:
  • "Got a lot of compliments on this costume."
  • "Don't waist [sic] your money." 
  • "It will work for its intended purpose." 
And the most "helpful" review of all:
  • "For all Americans who are fed up with the Obama regime's failures, corruption, weakening of our great nation, and the condemnation of Christians, and the Lord Jesus Christ, they should wear rebel caps as a protest."
This costume is the perfect Halloween costume for dangerous white supremacists, history buffs, and any combination of the two. 

Sword and Musketoon rifle sold separately.



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