Monday, October 5, 2015

Let's Come Up With Some More Self-Deluding Euphemsims for Really Atrocious Stuff

A euphemism is "a mild or indirect word or expression substituted for one considered to be too harsh or blunt when referring to something unpleasant or embarrassing."

An excellent example of euphemisms at work appears in Clover Hope's report today in Jezebel, about a Texas mother who complained to text book publisher McGraw-Hill about slaves being referred to as immigrant "workers" in her ninth grader's history text book: (Incidentally, is McGraw-Hill owned by country rock star super couple Tim McGraw and Faith Hill?! Someone needs to look into this immediately!):

Texas Mom Forces Textbook Publisher to Correct Caption Implying Slaves Were Immigrant Workers

The mom rightly threw a hissy fit, and convinced the publisher to change this sadly common historical whitewash. Since the world is going to hell in a hand basket, it would be helpful to whitewash a few more atrocities in order to make them go down a little more smoothly. 

Here's what I'm thinking--and note that some of these already exist anyway:

  • Global Refugee Crisis: "Trans-boundary Migration Situation."
  • Genocide: "Selective Homo Sapien Reduction."
  • Xenophobia: "Border Security."
  • Corrupt and Seemingly Invincible Corporate Lobbies: "Corporate Personhood."
  • Fellow Human Beings in Need: "Illegal Aliens."
  • Climate Change/Global Warming: "Minor Periodic Temperature Elevations."
  • Famine: "Universal Nutritional Insufficiency."'
  • Deeply-Entrenched Homophobic Bigotry: "Deeply-Held Religious Beliefs."
  • Gaping, Conspicuous, Inexcusable Vacuum in Appropriate Legislation: "Loophole."

What's your favorite euphemism?

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