Wednesday, September 2, 2015

President Obama’s Historic 3-Day Trip to Alaska, Summarized in One Limerick

People might be wondering just what the President of the United States was doing in Alaska for three whole days. 

Well, wonder no more, because One Hot Mess is pleased to offer this easy, play-by-play explanation to share with anyone who's interested in a brief (and rhyming) summary of President Obama's visit to The Last Frontier:

Alaska is rather remote
And not prone to the Democrats’ vote
So with some trepidation
Obama’s vacation
Began on a tenuous note.

But Alaska was in for some fun
With Bill Walker aboard Air Force One
And the President’s ear
Giving hugs and good cheer
Our state's welcome will not be outdone.

The President spoke at a forum
And showed a great deal of decorum
Describing facts dire
A planet on fire

That cannot afford Rick Santorum.

He painted a chilling tableau
Framed by scientists well in the know:
All the glaciers are shrinking
Our coastline is sinking
Deniers are feasting on crow.

He went from The Cook to Snow City
(The crowds there are often not pretty)
And no more so than where
A world leader is there
Buying muffins served up by committee.

Obama then flew down to Seward
And told The World we are the stewards
Of Exit Glacier--a shame
She lives up to her name
Our grandkids might not get to view her.

He stopped for a cone of gelato
En route to the gullies and grottos
Of Kenai Fjords
There is much to explore
It’s like winning the wildlife lotto.

Next he was Dillingham-bound
For an earful about Norton Sound
And the salmon that feeds

Our nutritional needs
And a mine atop their spawning grounds.

Further north on the high Chukchi Seas

Where Shell Oil is trying to squeeze
Every last drop of crude
Their rigs skeptically viewed
By people defending the trees.

Obama has shown some ambition
For no one in his high position
Had prior a clue
About Kotzebue
Much less its time-honored traditions.

Climate change makes Alaskans uneasy
(In fact I might even say queasy)
We must act, said Obama
Lest we end up a drama
Directed by Martin Scorsese.

So the whole planet now will know why
Alaskans have pride in their eyes
The beauty we live in
Was never a given
But it might make the President cry.

Photo: Alaska Dispatch News


  1. There once was a mountain named McKinley
    About whose true name all Alaskans could rally.
    Then Obama said no,
    That name’s got to go.
    It’s really, always been Denali.

    1. Yes! To listen to all the right side flapdoodle about this has been frightening.

  2. How do you continue to output this continuous barrage of intense stuff? Don't you get drained?

    1. Ha! No. I get drained if I don't do it. :)


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