Saturday, August 22, 2015

30 Pointless First World Things I Said Out Loud Before 8 a.m. Today

1. Stop hitting each other.
2. Stop teasing each other.
3. How can we be out of sugar?
4. You already had your vitamins.
5. Clear your plate.
6. Watch your mouth.
7. Get dressed.
8. How many times do I have to say it?
9. Ugh, it's raining AGAIN?
10. Don't talk to me; I need coffee first.
11. I'm in the bathroom for fuck's sake!
12. Clean up these art supplies.
13. Stop whining.
14. This is ridiculous.
15. Really?!?!
16. Then go read a book!
17. Where's your soccer stuff?
18. How could you lose that?
19. You need to show more respect for your things.
20. Why the fuck are they emailing me before 8:00 a.m. on a weekend?
21. I'm so tired.
22. How can I be this tired?
23. No, you can't buy cartoons off iTunes.
24. Put the iPad down or you'll never see it again.
25. No way can you have my password.
26. You both need an attitude adjustment.
27. Stop whining.
28. Why is the news so depressing?
29. Where is Macedonia, exactly?
30. My first mistake this morning: Getting out of bed.

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