Thursday, July 16, 2015

The Tie Move

I must have missed the day in lady/seductress school when they taught every girl how to do this:


This scene is in almost every movie and TV show involving a woman and a man wearing a tie. In this particular stock photo plucked from the mighty interwebs, the woman is still in her pajamas (that could be a doctor's coat, but I doubt it), while her boyfriend goes off to work with a newspaper tucked under his arm. What? This dude can make a zillion dollars at a hedge fund on Wall Street and afford to install those nice granite countertops, but he can't put on his own clothes?

Usually in this cloying tie scenario, the woman is one of 8 things to the adult male who apparently can't get dressed without female assistance:

(1) someone he's just slept with
(2) someone he plans to sleep with in the future
(3) someone he used to sleep with but doesn't anymore
(4) his mother 
(5) his daughter
(6) his wife
(7) his girlfriend
(8) his hot-but-nerdy best friend with whom he has unrealized sexual tension

You know what you never see though? That guy clasping the bra of any of the 8 women mentioned above. You will probably see him unclasping a bra, but somehow these women manage to get dressed every day without help--usually and quite literally with both hands tied behind their backs.

I have no idea how to tie a tie, and why would I? Sometimes women wear ties, and that's cool. I like that look, yet probably can't pull it off. But if I could, I'd learn how to tie my own tie. Since I've never worn a tie, I don't know how to tie one.

Maybe because I've always assumed that the men in my life--at a minimum--can generally dress themselves and perform other activities of daily living. I know it's a lot to expect, but what can I say? 

I've got high standards.

1 comment:

  1. You are looking at this in the wrong way: realize that she is putting a ROPE around.the poor slobs neck.

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