Thursday, July 23, 2015

The Hidden Dangers Of . . . Armadillo-Borne Leprosy?!

If you (or maybe just I?) type the words, "the hidden dangers of ..." into Google, here's what comes up first: "the rainbow"; "cosmetic surgery"; "cell phone radiation"; "energy drinks"; and "skinny fat."

Here's what does NOT come up: "armadillo-borne leprosy." But leave it to O.H.M. to shed some much-needed light on this little known danger.

Just check out this totally legit news story, which reports that cases of leprosy in Florida are on the rise among humans who have been "interacting" with the adorable hard-shelled mammals, and a scientist interviewed here recommends that people avoid "canoodling" with them. Only in Florida, I suspect, would this need to be explicitly stated as a warning (PLEASE DO NOT FUCK THE ARMADILLOS?) 

The struggle is real, Florida. The struggle is REAL.

But this got me thinking about all the other old-timey, obscure mammal-borne diseases that could be lurking under our very noses, such as:

--Platypus-borne scurvy
--Koala-borne gout
--Tapir-borne consumption
--Lemur-borne cholera
--Sloth-borne tuberculosis

And of course, I'd be remiss not to mention . . . Seattle-yuppie-borne polio!

We must remain vigilant to these hazards in our midst. 

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