Monday, July 20, 2015

Juneau-to-English Weather Translator

Scattered Showers: It's raining.

Intermittent Showers: It's still raining.

Isolated Showers: Wow, imagine that, it's still raining!

Rains, Heavy at Times: Where's our ark? It's really fucking raining now!

Periods of Rain in the Morning with Showers Developing Late: Don't make any plans to do anything other than stay inside and go completely crazy. Start whittling away at the inside of your house with a small chisel like you were Morgan Freeman in The Shawshank Redemption.

Rain Diminishing in the Morning then Scattered Showers in the Afternoon: Dream on, it's still raining. All. Fucking. Day.

Rain Likely: Rain definitely.

Cloudy. Chance of Rain: It's 100% going to rain. We promise!

Mostly Cloudy: Oh my God. I'm not soaking wet. Everything else still is (of course) but at least my body's not. Whoo-hoo!

Partly Cloudy: OmigodwhatdoidowhatdoidoiseethesunimcallinginsicktoworkholyshititsthesunomigodineedaplaniseethesuncouldthatreallybethesunINEEDSUNLIGHTwhatdoidowhatdoido?!?!?!?!??

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