Thursday, July 30, 2015

Express Yourself

A Madonna parody for any mother who has ever experienced "nursing mom guilt" while trying to "express" breast milk from her breasts:



Come on moms!
Do you believe in boobs?
'Cause I got something to say about ‘em
And it goes something like this:

Don't go for second best baby
Put your baby on the breast
You know, you know, you've got to
Make your boobs express what they feel
And how they feel is like a baby’s meal

Express yourself!

You don't need that Fenugreek
And sleep is oversold
Fancy bottles—even BPA-free
You know formula ain't free, no no
What you need is a big strong pump
To squeeze out every precious drop

Make you feel like a dairy cow
Get that suction going--never stop
[never stop]

Don't go for second best baby
Put your baby on the breast
You know, you know, you've got to
Make your boobs express what they feel
And how they feel is like a baby’s meal

Express yourself!

Bottle feeding is the way to your bed
But you must put that out of your head
Chewed up nipples are very romantic
What happens when they turn bright red?
Your baby deserves the best in life
So if the time isn't right then too bad
Second best is never enough
Just line your bra with nursing pads
[Some nursing pads]

Don't go for second best baby
Put your baby on the breast
You know, you know, you've got to
Make your boobs express what they feel
And how they feel is like a baby’s meal

Express yourself
[you've got to make your boobs]
Express themselves
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Your baby’s hungry right now, a lactation consultant can show you how
Express what you got, oh baby ready or not!






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