Thursday, May 28, 2015

A New Low in Social Media Advertising

Apparently, it's no longer enough for that asshat Mark Zuckerberg to bombard me with ads on The Facebook for products like K.Y. Jelly, Carefree Panty Liners, and Bali granny panties. 

Nope.

Now Facebook wants to "hear from [me]" in "sponsored polls" ABOUT the ads! These are literally ads FOR ads. It's really quite meta when you think about it. As Larry David would say, "It's high concept. I've gotta get there." 

Facebook wants me to complete the following survey. They've promised to keep my identity confidential, so obviously I'm going to do it now:


I thought the ad for the ad for Bayer Pro Ultra Omega-3 was pretty funny, but then I saw the following "sponsored poll," and really it's even better:


Which of these brands do I "most associate with getting [my] life in order?" Were I to complete this survey, I would definitely click "other," and I would hope that I'd have an option to fill in the following:
  • Botox
  • Lululemon
  • Prozac
  • Dexatrim
  • Skinny Girl Cucumber Infused Vodka
Glad? Ziploc? Hefty? Great Value? What the fuckover, Facebook?! Do I look like a Kansas housewife who spends all day making green bean casseroles and marshmallow Jello molds? Facebook better step up its ad-for-ad game before it misses out on collecting some truly valuable and accurate data.

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