Sunday, April 26, 2015

Juneau Sunshine FOMO

When the sun shines in Juneau, you had better have a plan, and it had better be good. All prior commitments that fail to incorporate the sun are out the window without comment, excuse, or explanation in a manner that anywhere else in America would be considered rude.

You can't miss ONE second of sunlight without feeling a nagging sense of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). You need to soak up as much Vitamin D as you can as fast as you can, because you never know when you'll feel the sun's rays on your sad, pasty skin again.

Also, it's very important that when the sun finally sets on a sunny day in Juneau, you have an acceptable activity to report to everyone else who will be judging your use of each hour of that sunny day.

Acceptable activities include a ridge hike, a boat ride, a kayak trip, spending the night at a cabin, a 30 mile or more run, and skiing. Reports of these activities are met with oohs and ahs and smiles and envious nods, particularly from those who have made less acceptable use of the sun. You can almost see the FOMO in their eyes.

Somewhat acceptable activities include hanging around playgrounds, going to an outdoor sports practice, or sitting on someone's deck. Unacceptable activities include shopping at Costco, writing a brief in your office, watching TV, taking your kids to the pool, or napping.

I won't disclose what I did yesterday, because I refuse to compete in this silent and vaguely obnoxious pageant of the sun.

I will also neither confirm nor deny whether this photo was taken on the rare and gorgeous sunny Juneau day that was yesterday, or some other sunny day in Juneau approximately seven months ago.

Because no one will ever know, and Juneauites are too trusting and polite to check out my alibis.



2 comments:

  1. Right on and right to the hilarious point Libby. Here is something I wrote after the insane sunny summer of 2013:
    http://www.adn.com/article/20140823/when-endless-sunshine-becomes-too-much-bear

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