Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Because This is How We All Chop Vegetables

When I chop vegetables for dinner (which is often), I like my husband to nuzzle up behind me with his mop of shaggy brown hair and give me a female reach-around while kind of dry humping my ass as I casually stab at a yellow bell pepper.
 

And I just love the way he can look at a head of broccoli like it holds the secrets of the universe. That's what made me fall in love with him in the first place!

Then after I'm done chopping and having a quick mid-dinner-prep orgasm (because nothing turns me on like dinner prep), I like to drizzle a little extra virgin olive oil on the veggies and stick them in my Bellini Affordable Living function black electric oven. 


We watch our dinner roast evenly at 350° behind the fan forced, double-glazed glass door, while he gets out the strawberries and starts dipping them in chocolate fondue for us to feed to each other later with our nightly flutes of champagne.
 

What?
 

Isn't this everyone's go-to weeknight dinner routine after 15 years of co-habitation?


UPDATE: I just found this picture in an article about how to be a happy couple, with the following caption:


  • A lot of couples split up who cooks, but when only one person is doing it you're missing out on some quality bonding time. Not only do both people enjoy the meal more if they make it together, but cooking together is a unique experience the couples should experience often — it involves communication, creativity, and even sensuality.


REALLY!?!? BARF!!! And why is the WOMAN always chopping the veggies? I haven't chopped veggies in my house in like 10 years.

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