But what exactly IS the “gay agenda?”
Considering the fact that approximately half of my friends and family are gay, I find it unconscionable that I still don’t know what the "gay agenda" is.
So I did some research and investigation into the gay agenda, and guess what you guys? I found a copy of the hidden gay agenda from the last secret meeting of gay people everywhere. I am now pulling a full-on Julian Assange/Edward Snowden ninja-move by wiki-leaking it on O.H.M.
Don't forget: you heard it here first!
THE GAY AGENDA
April 9, 2015
- Review and approve minutes from last meeting
- Discussion and decisions re: how not to get fired for being gay
- Discussion and decisions re: how not to get kicked out of a hospital while your partner of 25 years lies dying
- Discussion of constitutional principles of separation of church and state
- Renew appointments of board of directors (Lady Gaga up for second term)
- Executive session re: the "homosexual lifestyle" (also known as living and breathing)
- Review company dress code (bottom line: no tacky clothes)
- Approval of stock options (Board last month approved stock in Memories Pizza)
- Discussion and decisions re: "indoctrination" of people into the "homosexual lifestyle" (also known as existing in/interacting with the rest of society)
- Quarterly earnings and loss statement
- Roll call of inanimate objects that share the gay agenda (e.g. Disney movies; bakeries in Florida and Colorado; pizza; the Harry Potter books)
- Viewing of season 1, episode 1 of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy
- Lunch (NOT pizza from Memories or Chick Fil-A)
[NEXT UP: The "Feminist" Agenda]