Sunday, March 15, 2015

Separation Anxiety: A Quiz

Every year during spring break, Geoff takes the kids to visit his parents and grandparents in Southern California for the week. I can never go, because it's my busiest season at work. Also, at one point my in-laws had a cat, which meant I would practically die within ten minutes of arrival at their house. So during those years I had an extra reason not to go along. I always have mixed feelings about missing this trip, as reflected in the following multiple choice quiz:

1. The first thing I do after I drop everyone off at the airport is:

(a) Put on a pair of tightie whities and a button down shirt, blast the stereo as loud as it will go, and start dancing around my living room to "Old Time Rock n' Roll" like Tom Cruise in Risky Business.

(b) Go back to sleep for 18 hours.

(c) Start cleaning the house, knowing that it will actually stay clean for more than five minutes.

(d) Text Geoff to make sure no one is dead yet.

(e)  All of the above.

2. My excitement at having my house to myself for a week is tempered by nagging fears of:

(a) Plane crashes.

(b) Car crashes.

(c) Kidnappings/shootings by serial killers/escaped convicts.

(d) Drownings (pool/ocean/man-made lake).

(e) All of the above.

3. My inaugural solo dinner this year will be:

(a) Last of the CDATPOS leftovers.

(b) A bowl of Cinnamon Rice Chex with almond milk.

(c) Frozen sweet potato french fries.

(d) Convenience store tacos.

(e) Sketchy Chinese takeout.

4. The simultaneously saddest and most beautiful sound for the first few hours of empty nest-hood is:

(a) Silence.

(b) Taylor Swift and Nicki Minaj on blast.

(c) Every household appliance running at the same time as each piece of crockery and fabric in my house is cleaned and disinfected.

(d) Re-runs of VH1's Behind the Music.

(e) All of the above.

5. Something always breaks while the fam is gone. This year it will most likely be:

(a) The washing machine.

(b) Some part of a vehicle.

(c) A computer.

(d) The garage door.

(e) All of the above.

6. By the end of the week, I usually feel:

(a) Bored.

(b) Guilty.

(c) Lonely.

(d) Secretly just a TENNY bit sad that I don't have at least ONE more day to dance around the living room in my underwear like Tom Cruise in Risky Business.

(e) All of the above.


  1. I am often left behind on Spring Break, but I have the kids for the week--single parenting it. My spouse is on a bi-annual personal growth retreat. I often have mixed feelings about it. But, it's also my birthday this week, so I'm going to celebrate!

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