Sunday, March 29, 2015

Don't Lose Your Man to a Sly Seductress!

Says a women's lifestyle magazine from 1990. Great advice. GREAT Advice. Beware "Donna Juanita."

Also, make sure you rock the bowl cut/thick eyebrows combo and ski school, ski bunny, Aspen Extreme maternity-look neon pink jacket with geometric print.

That will ensure that you beat the seductress at her own game. But wait! "This wily woman traps your man before you know what's hit him!"

It's ALL that bitch's fault for being SO wily and seductive in her leopard print dress and stiletto heels. Beware the predatory vixen who convinces your man to cheat on you with ZERO involvement from said man.

He will be paralyzed and blinded with lust and physically unable to resist this slut's awesome shoulder pads. And it will be ALL HER FAULT!

What an unbelievable super power, eh?




2 comments:

  1. Why are you writing about a magazine cover/article from 25 years ago?

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    Replies
    1. Just because I thought it was hysterical. Someone found it in a free magazine bin at the library and gave it to me; I thought it was a riot and a funny historical relic.

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