Saturday, January 24, 2015

The Emotional Workout

People are always seeking emotional strength, myself included. But unlike physical strength, there isn't the equivalent of "Jane Fonda" or "P90X" or "Insanity" for emotional health and fitness. (Well, there is insanity, but a different kind). 

That all changes right now. A new day has dawned. Now presenting O.H.M's first ever emotional workout. Improved emotional strength, guaranteed in six weeks or your money back.*

Do the following at least 3 days per week:

Humiliation: 3 reps/4 sets, 30 sec.
Terror: 8 reps/2 sets, 15 sec.
Joy: 1 rep/1 set, 1 sec.
Envy: 10 reps/5 sets, 30 sec.
Frustration: 12 reps/10 sets, 60 sec.
Rage: 6 reps/4 sets, 20 sec.
Despair: 2 reps/3 sets, 15 sec.
Bliss: 1 rep/1 set, 2 sec.
Guilt/Shame: (Alternate): 5 reps/5 sets, 5 sec. Repeat 2x
Inadequacy: 3 reps/3 sets, 10 sec.

*Individual results may vary. O.H.M. not responsible for physical or emotional injury. Consult a healthcare professional before beginning any emotional workout regimen. Discontinue this program immediately if you experience any of the following symptoms: uncontrollable weeping; maniacal laughing; or death.


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