Monday, December 29, 2014

Where Are They Now?

I think there was maybe once a reality show on VH1 by this title, about what happened to washed-up stars of the music industry.

Well, I must have missed an episode, because I've just discovered something amaaaaaazing. Through pure happenstance, I stumbled on the fate of Jermaine Jackson, founding member of the 1970s rock-pop boy band, The Jackson 5.

I had to take a picture to prove it, but Jermaine Jackson is now the station manager of the Bergen Street F/G stop in Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn! Obviously, he changed the "J" to a "G" both to remain low-pro and to maintain solidarity with the trains of the station he manages.

The MTA is probably a waaaaay better work scene for G/Jermaine than toiling in semi-legal child labor under the thumb of his notoriously draconian tiger dad who was allegedly meaner than The Grinch Who Stole Christmas and beat the living shit out of all five Jackson kids whenever they missed a note or a beat.

Now G/Jermaine probably gets to go home to his wife and kids at 5:00 p.m. after making sure the turnstiles and Metro Card machines work OK, and it's a good day if he doesn't have to call the NYPD to disband a posse of drunk, obstreperous hipsters coming off a Smith Street microbrew pub crawl.

This is definitely an improvement in my opinion. I need to go on Hulu and find this missing episode. Also, I wish I could be at the MTA station manager Christmas party. You know G/Jermaine rocks the fuck out of the karaoke machine at that every year.

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