Monday, November 3, 2014

Why I Hate Slate

Sometimes you feel indescribably irked by something and can't quite figure out why. But you feel compelled to try to describe why anyway, so that's what I'm doing here. I often experience an undercurrent of simmering yet deep-seated annoyance reading slate.com. This self-described "online magazine of politics, business, technology, and the arts" offers thought-provoking, well-written, and easily-digestible articles. And I read or skim slate.com several times weekly. So why do I hate Slate so much? 

I think it's the sense-- perceived or real--that all of these thought-provoking,well-written, and easily-digestible articles are authored by people my age or younger who all purport to have the wisdom of ten thousand Yodas, when their tender years render such wisdom a nullity. The sanctimony and all-around unctuous tone of the headlines say it all. For example, from today's--and only today's--homepage, I offer you Exhibit A of the unapologetic, unflagging, and likely unfounded confidence in the 100% certitude that everyone who writes for Slate apparently has in every word they say:

--"The Most Important Race in America.": (Because obviously, the author knows!)

--"The One Muslim Country that Loves America is Developing an Extremist Problem." (Oh wait, Hillary Rodham Clinton doesn't work for Slate? Oh OK. Shut the fuck up then).

--"Why Sleepy Hollow Works So Well, and Gotham Doesn't Work at All" (For the "complete and utter subjective bullshit and who cares anyway" files).

--"The Last Government Entity You Want Determining The Mideast Peace Process is the U.S. Supreme Court" (With "all due respect" to the great legal mind that is Dahlia Lithwick (insert only partial sarcasm), I think this one is a bit "Dr. Obvious," no? See also, prior post titled "It's No Cake Walk").

And my FAVORITE:

--"There Should Be No More International Reports on Climate Science.": (Self-explanatory).

Tomorrow's headline, written by me, shall be: "Why Everyone Who Writes for Slate is Apparently a Self-Righteous Sanctimonious Know-it-All Asshole and Why You Should Approach Their Articles With No Small Degree of Skepticism. The End."


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