I've written before on this blog about denial and self-delusion, and what useful tools they can be. Well, Halloween and the days immediately following bear witness to at least 10 delusional little lies I like to tell myself:
1. I'm not lazy and uncreative for having failed to make my kids' costumes from scratch.
2. 16 mini Snickers bars eaten at midnight is somehow still less than one regular Snickers bar eaten during the day.
3. Candy Corn is not the scariest thing about Halloween and I will feel totally fine if I eat it by the handful.
4. I won't fight with my kids until January about their candy this year: I will finally adopt one of the many tactics better parents than I use to get rid of that shit.
5. Everyone thinks my kids are cute and cares what they look like in their costumes.
6. I will enjoy trick-or-treating sober for more than 14 minutes.
7. My kids will not notice a daily "tax" on their candy.
8. I will be able to enjoy Halloween totally free of neuroses and 99.9% of everything about it won't completely disgust me.
9. I won't fight with Geoff about my refusal to wear a costume.
10. I won't be forced into wearing a costume anyway.