Sunday, November 23, 2014

"Jackin' (Costco) Samples"

(To the tune of "Ridin' Dirty" by Chamillionaire)

[CHORUS]:

My cart is rollin'
They freakin'
Patrolling, they tryin' to jack a buncha samples
Tryin' to jack a bunch of samples
Tryin' to jack a bunch of samples
Tryin' to jack a bunch of samples
Tryin' to jack them Costco samples
My kids be SO loud
They screamin'
They hopin' that they gonna jack mad samples
Tryin' to jack a bunch of samples
Tryin' to jack a bunch of samples
Tryin' to jack a bunch of samples
Tryin' to jack them Costco samples

[VERSE 1]:

Costco front like they savin' me SCRILLA
But yo' I'm flat broke like Tokyo post GODZILLA
Cruisin' the lot in my hoopty: WORD!
Some bitch ganked my spot
So I flipped her the BIRD.
Can't find my card, the executive membership
Bouncer at the door look like an ex CONVICT!
Rollin' through the aisles with a foot long hot dog
My shorties in shotgun and they startin' a dialogue
Aboutst all the shit that they want me to BUY
As if I'm Donald Trump with mah own HIGH RISE.
We just buyin' quinoa and some hummus and CHEESE.
We ain't comin' home with no FLAT SCREEN TV!

[CHORUS]

[VERSE 2]
Frozen turned up to the maximum 
Elsa and Anna tryin' to jack for some
But we packin' pizza: five-meat take and BAKE
5 poundsa chocolate chips and bacon, NO NITRATES!
Smoked salmon jumpin' off, mini apple sauces
Kelloggs fruit snacks? Yo FUCK those, bosses!
Mixed nuts, avocados, and Annie's MAC,
Kale that goes bad before the next time we back!

[CHORUS]

[VERSE 3]
I be rollin' deep with that Charmin shit
12 rolls of Brawny, no harm in it.
Lookin' at the booze, you know a mothah need buzzin'
Margarita mix and tequila COUSIN!
Up to the checkout we OUTS now.
No fuckin churros! No POUTS now!
Bitch up in my grill 'bout American Express
I rock the AK Airlines Visa! GO FUCK yo'self!
Make way, make way, yo this line is chaotic 
I need to be GHOST before I go psychotic!
Scope my receipt like I stole some cola
I'm scowlin' at this fuckah like he gotst Ebola.

[CHORUS]

[VERSE 4]
Load the rig mad tight with the cardboard boxes 
This is one of a motha's harsh paradoxes:
Doin' 60 down Egan Drive like dis
The fuzz pull me over, ain't got TIME for this!
My kids gotta pee and they startin' to cry
And my phone's blowin up like the FOURTH OF JULY
Where you at?
When you home?
Yo stop TEXTIN' then!
Unless you never wanna have sex again!
Get home. OH FUCK! Where's the goddamn coffee?
Yet I somehow have a 20-pack of Oral B!

[CHORUS]




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