Saturday, October 4, 2014

Janet Yellen

To most people, Janet Yellen is a distinguished economist and the first woman to chair the Federal Reserve. To me, she's just another person whose professional heights I can never hope to attain (through no fault of my own of course). Janet Yellen is also the name I've given to my alter ego: the one that really loses her shit on her kids and screams and yells at an unspeakable volume until her spawn is cowed into submission.

Janet was out in force this morning. If yelling is the new spanking, I'm expecting a call from children's services at any moment. The reason is the attached photo, which shows a cabinet that was unceremoniously destroyed during a lapse in supervision at Big Sister Day Care. A tornado of completely unwarranted hyperactivity led to the destruction of one of our ten year old kitchen cabinets (one that's already been broken on three other occasions). So naturally, instead of clucking my tongue calmly and reiterating that "it's just stuff," and that we are lucky to have running water (much less a kitchen with cabinets in which to run it), Janet Yellen yelled everyone's head off until at least 75% of the household (Janet included) was in tears.

Janet will be the first to report that my mothering stock took a precipitous dive at the opening of today's market. Time to invest in throat lozenge futures.

1 comment:

  1. Get two small clamps and some gorilla wood glue. Easy fix.


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