Wednesday, October 22, 2014


Of all the common childhood refrains, "I'm bored" might be the most annoying. Paige requires constant entertainment and engagement. Otherwise, her idle little hands will do the devil's work, and God help us all if she gets industrious. As a kindly heads-up before embarking on her diabolical doings, however, Paige likes to whine "I'm BOWED!" (Which at almost 7 is still how she pronounces "bored"). Her alleged boredom bothers me for one main reason. It's not so much her lack of ingenuity in figuring out how to amuse herself, because that's probably legitimately hard for someone her age to do. And it's not the hypocrisy in knowing that I also told my own parents I was bored pretty much 24/7. Nor is it my frustration in being unable to alleviate her boredom beyond throwing money at the problem (see prior posted titled "I Suck Ass at Crafts"). Rather, it's the fact that she has no idea what it really means to be bored. 

I want to kneel down, take her chin in my hand, look her straight in her twinkly blue eyes, and tell her what boredom really is: Boredom is an hour getting coughed on in a doctor's waiting room. Boredom is being on hold with Aetna while you try to appeal an explanation of benefits. Boredom is rifling through a year's worth of tax receipts every April. Boredom is listening to an all-text power point presentation from the back of a 500-person auditorium after lunch with no coffee. Boredom is balancing a checkbook. Boredom is folding and putting away three baskets of laundry every five days. Boredom is filling out permission slips, passport renewals, and the miscellaneous forms of adulthood that seem to rain down daily with the force of a Vietnamese monsoon. Boredom is standing in line at the DMV. Boredom is a mandatory training of almost any kind. Boredom is going through two weeks of mail. Boredom is sitting on the telephone while someone talks at you incessantly about things you don't care about. 

So just be glad that two adults exist to serve and meet your every need, and be happy that the only paper you touch is festooned with crayons and glue. Now go play outside!

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